Moving in with your significant other is an exciting next step in any relationship but there are a lot of factors at play. From boundaries and responsibilities to emotions and courtesies, there is a lot to navigate.
Currently, over 3 million couples are living together in the UK. To count yourselves among them, there are some things you can do to ensure your new living situation doesn’t become a disaster.
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Communication is key
Good communication is how you effectively share your feelings, opinions and expectations, and is an essential part of any relationship. A recent study of 2000 UK adults by fitted furniture specialists Hammonds Furniture revealed that 51% of couples listed ‘not listening’ at the very top as their partners’ most annoying habit.
You’re not a mind reader so it’s important to communicate clearly to avoid misunderstandings. Equally, you must demonstrate good listening skills too. This means encouraging your partner to be honest about what is bothering them and showing genuine interest in resolving any disputes.
Division of Responsibilities
It’s easy for conflict to arise when you aren’t clear on each other’s responsibilities for your shared space. Not all housework is created equal either so the likelihood that you’ll agree on how often chores need to be done is slim. Discussing this together ensures both partners contribute and feel a sense of balance.
Avoiding household tasks (35%) and leaving washing up out on the side (39%) were ranked in the top five most annoying partner habits. Avoiding annoyances due to clutter and untidiness is easily avoided when everyone is aware of their responsibilities and has some accountability. Investing in high-quality, practical storage solutions such as fitted wardrobes also helps keep everything in order.
Respect each other’s personal space
Though it’s easy to fall into the ‘what’s mine is yours’ attitude, it’s better for your relationship if you keep a bit of mystery. You can still be committed to your partner and the life you share together while enforcing some much-needed alone time here and there.
Alone time is not only an important form of self-care, but it can prevent enmeshment – when there are no boundaries between two people, and they start to lose their identities as individuals. This can eventually lead to resentment because you feel your partner is an obstacle in your life.
Set expectations
Setting out your expectations early on means you can avoid nagging and arguments later down the line. For men, in particular, nagging was listed as a top pet peeve and 3% of Brits in relationships would break up with their partner because of this bad habit.
From dividing chores to sorting out finances, starting a dialogue takes guessing and assumptions out of the equation. This goes a long way making each side of the relationship feel understood and validated.
Conflict resolution
Living together isn’t always going to be easy and you should prepare for some disagreements to come to the surface every so often – even despite your efforts to prevent it. In these scenarios, the best thing you can do is to learn effective conflict resolution techniques to work through the issue, rather than assigning blame.
31% of the couples in the Hammonds study admit to arguing with their partner about bad habits at least once a month. Once you can communicate openly and honestly about your concerns, you can work to find a solution that addresses the issue and establishes realistic expectations around the behaviour in the future.
